Question:

Supermarket/Shop – Neurodivergent

Q: You are doing your shopping in a supermarket but you or your child become overwhelmed by the loud noise, bright lighting, and strong smells. What would help in that difficult sensory environment? What response would you want from other shoppers and staff to ease your shopping experience?

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For people to offer help and give us room if needed. A quiet space would be ideal. Assisted shopping would also help . Greater availability of sunflower lanyards without having to queue up and find someone to ask. Staff should have them at the ready on checkouts. A special covered wheelchair/ trolley so an autistic child could cocoon themselves in and block out the shop. Quiet hours when kids are at school and parents at work are of no use to us. An evening slot on a Thursday was trialled by Sainsbury's in some areas. It was amazing to see the difference in my daughter.

Valerie Cramp

As a parent it is extremely humiliating to be told that you are allowing your child to have a "tantrum" when they are many more years above toddler age. It is extremely difficult having to manage a supermarket shop as a single parent irrespective of with a child with needs.

What did my situation teach me? That taking your autistic child to a supermarket is traumatic but having had to do so as I had zero support it taught him necessary life skills.

Advice now based on a fast forward society where there are ways around a visit:

Do your supermarket shop online.

Take your child to a supermarket as a specific trip to teach them. Take baby steps. Take them to the door. Tell them everything which is going on around them. Reassure them. Talk to them about the people around them getting their trollies etc. Praise them for being there and then go home. Next step, a week later, take them through that all again and if they are not showing signs of major distress go through the door. Talk them through the whole experience of being in the foyer. Praise them. Reward them. Go home. Next visit maybe browse an aisle. Talk, explain, Praise, reward, go home.

Repeat all of this is stages based on what your child can do and at their developmental stage. Take small steps and build upon each one but if it isn't successful don't give up just go back to the stap before and always praise, reassure and encourage. It is time consuming and it is exhausting but keep at it and celebrate the big steps your child makes. Don't have high expectations on you or your child. It is hard, extremely hard.

Do not deliberately avoid taking them to supermarkets. Learn your child's sensory needs and account for them. If it is noise take ear defenders. If it is lights try sunglasses. Try distractions/comforters depending on needs. If old enough imvolve them and let them choose and carry/hold items.

Take advice on your specific situation based on your child's individual needs. Try very hard (as it is hard) to remain calm and ignore other people's responses and try to remind yourself that you will never see those people again. It is you and your child who matter to you not the strangers around you.

As a parent it is extremely humiliating to be told that you are allowing your child to have a "tantrum" when they are many more years above toddler age. It is extremely difficult having to manage a supermarket shop as a single parent irrespective of with a child with needs.

What did my situation teach me? That taking your autistic child to a supermarket is traumatic but having had to do so as I had zero support it taught him necessary life skills.

Advice now based on a fast forward society where there are ways around a visit:

Do your supermarket shop online.

Take your child to a supermarket as a specific trip to teach them. Take baby steps. Take them to the door. Tell them everything which is going on around them. Reassure them. Talk to them about the people around them getting their trollies etc. Praise them for being there and then go home. Next step, a week later, take them through that all again and if they are not showing signs of major distress go through the door. Talk them through the whole experience of being in the foyer. Praise them. Reward them. Go home. Next visit maybe browse an aisle. Talk, explain, Praise, reward, go home.

Repeat all of this is stages based on what your child can do and at their developmental stage. Take small steps and build upon each one but if it isn't successful don't give up just go back to the step before and always praise, reassure and encourage. It is time consuming and it is exhausting but keep at it and celebrate the big steps your child makes. Don't have high expectations on you or your child. It is hard, extremely hard.

Do not deliberately avoid taking them to supermarkets. Learn your child's sensory needs and account for them. If it is noise take ear defenders. If it is lights try sunglasses. Try distractions/comforters depending on needs. If old enough involve them and let them choose and carry/hold items.

Take advice on your specific situation based on your child's individual needs. Try very hard (as it is hard) to remain calm and ignore other people's responses and try to remind yourself that you will never see those people again. It is you and your child who matter to you not the strangers around you.

Fiona
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